God, my boys, and me

Let me ask you one thing, if you are a parent: Are you praying consistently for your children?

I won't go into a lot of details here, but things have happend recently to slap me in the face and remind me that I need to pray more for my boys. Not only for their coming to know Christ personally in the future, but for their protection, physically and spiritually, now.

My Insight - A simple prayer of praise.

Thank you, Father, that you are over all things. Thank you for your promise in Psalms that you will send an angel to literally camp in the midst of the righteous. Thank you for the blood of Jesus, which has defeated all evil. And most of all, for your faithfulness.

Wow. Has it really been over a month since this was updated?

That's hard to believe. Why does time seem to move faster, the older we get? Caleb, for instance, has morphed almost overnight from a sleepy, crying baby to a teeny little boy with a vibrant personality. Brandon continues to amaze us daily, as we tackle more and more big-boy things every day.

I turned 30 last week. As a birthday present, I got broadband access at home. I was up late on 7/17, and when I finally turned the computer off, it was 7/18. Boom. It hit me. I was 30. As I crept into the bedroom, I remembered a conversation that I'd had with my Mom earlier - about how it didn't seem that I came into this world 30 years ago. So, before I went to bed, I walked into Brandon's room and watched him sleep. It was one of those moments that I wanted to affix in my mind for eternity - the soft feel of his blanket as I covered him up; the glow of the night light; the sound of him breathing. I did the same with Caleb (although much more quietly), and it dawned on me that one day these boys will be men, just like I am.

Men.

Life passes way too fast. I was telling Amanda the other day that, according to a book I had read, 90% of all moral values are instilled by age 5. It's our job to teach and share with our boys. I want my boys to become men of substance. Men who will leave a legacy in their world. Men who love God.

Life passes way too fast. If we don't teach our boys today, when will we? Some things can't be put off. If we put them off for convenience or sanity, we'll look back and realize that 30 years have passed. And then what can we do?

My insight - It's crunch time. I'm so glad I don't have to do this alone.

A few weeks ago I wrote about getting Brandon to apologize to someone. He wouldn't and, in a nutshell, we had a little confrontation over it that ended with punishment. It broke my heart that he wouldn't do something that I asked him to.

Night before last, it happened again. Same scenario, and Brandon wouldn't apologize. But this time, after less coaxing than before, Brandon apologized. And while I was still disappointed over his actions, the fact that he apologized made me proud.

My insight - Discipline is tough. But when it happens, it's always for a greater good. It's tough to realize that when God is disciplining me, but it just as true.

Okay - you're going to probably think this is the most absurd thing that you've ever read. But it's true.

Last night, around 9:45, I did something that I swore I would never do again. I cut Brandon's fingernails.

Big deal, right? Well, let me tell you the backstory - until last night, I had only cut his fingernails once. He was 6 days old (Christmas day). I messed up, and nipped the end of his finger. It bled. Big time. We didn't ever think it would stop. We were calling friends parents for advice, and I was ready to take him to the emergency room for stitches. I was panicked, thinking that this was my first small test as a Dad, and I flunked. Big time. What would all of the Drs. and nurses think when they saw it? Was I really fit to be a Dad?

I hate failure.

So last night, two and a half years later, I tried again. They needed to be done, and Amanda (who usually does it) was busy with Caleb. So I grabbed the clippers and plunged in. Carefully. And this time, no bloodshed.

I think I've figured something out: The first time, I was sure I could do it. Knew what to do, and didn't need any advice. But thistime, I just did what I saw other people do.

My insight - We grow over time, in stature and spirit. I need to do things not based on my wisdom, but God's. Things always seem to work out better that way.

I found this article in my inbox today, from Crosswalk. I thought it was a great summary of what I've been experiencing lately.

GOD IS YOUR PARENT AS YOU RAISE YOUR CHILD

The demands of parenting don't have to draw you away from God. Parenting can actually be a spiritually rewarding experience,
teaching you more about how God relates to you as your parent and you can relate to Him as His child.

Here are some of the many spiritual lessons you can learn from parenting:

* Just like children do need to be held by their parents during stressful times, we all need God to love and support us. Accept God's care in your life and realize that, when you're cared for yourself, you can better care for others.

* When you plant seeds of love in your child's life by investing time, energy and prayer into him or her, don't despair if you don't immediately see the fruit you would like to see. Trust the Holy Spirit to help your child blossom at the right time, and keep investing your life into him or her.

* Have faith in God's love for you even when you can't sense His immediate presence. Know that God is a loving parent who is always watching over you, just as parents watch diligently over their children.

* Realize that God has your best interests in mind and that you can trust in His good heart for you and don't need to rebel to get what only seems better to you. Be grateful that God wants to protect you from hurtful situations.

* Think of each situation you encounter as pieces God is putting together into the master puzzle of your life. Resist the temptation to throw away certain pieces God gives you if it's not clear how they will fit into the big puzzle. Consider how each situation might help build your life as a whole.

* Stay connected to God through prayer each day so He can nurture you as His child.

* Bring God all of your fearful feelings and accept His comfort.

* Realize that God judges you justly but mercifully, and more on the content of your heart than on outward appearances. Commit to strive for a pure heart. Extend grace to others when they act wrongly, realizing that their behavior may not necessarily be the result of rebellion, but of ignorance, inability or thoughtlessness.

* Take comfort in the fact that Jesus understands you in all your humanity and experienced many of the feelings you feel.

* Be willing to set the temporal demands of life aside in order to focus on time with your child when the Holy Spirit leads you, just as God is always willing to focus on you.

* Realize that your worth in God's eyes is based on who you are, not on what you do. When the world labels you a loser because you've failed to accomplish something, resist that label and claim your identity as a winner because you are God's child.

* When you're emotionally hurt, don't let your wounds fester and infect you. Receive God's cleansing and healing.

* Remember that God doesn't intend for you to meet every need you encounter. Make sure God is calling you to undertake a project before you do so. Ask Him how He wants you to invest your time and talents.

* Always be willing for God to teach you something new.

* Listen for God's voice as eagerly as a child listens for the voice of his or her father or mother.

* You will likely experience growing pains as God transforms you more and more into the person He created you to be. Persevere, knowing that God is growing you well just as a child grows up to be stronger and stronger.

* Just like children who are curious, you may wonder about a lot of things God could explain. When you ask God questions, have patience and listen well for His answers. Be willing to accept answers you don't necessarily like, or even no answer, if God chooses to respond that way.

* Relinquish control of things and relationships in your life and trust God to keep your life in balance.

* Give God your disappointments in life and ask Him to transform them into something positive for you. He will.

* Confess your sins and accept God's forgiveness.

* Allow others to serve you out of the love God has placed in their hearts.

* Know that God delights in you, and bask in the glory of the Holy Spirit's light in your life. But also shine that light out into a world that needs to see it.

-- By Live It Editor Whitney Von Lake

I kept both Caleb and Brandon last night, while Amanda was at Bible Study. I was expecting a frantic evening, pulling my hair out - what's left of it. But I was surprised. Brandon was great all evening long, and Caleb only started fussing when he was tired. They even played together.

What really got to me, though was Caleb. He was absolutely belly-laughing at things that Brandon and I would do. It was such a joy to see this little face, which I usually see red, mad, and streaming with tears, absolutely filled with happiness.

My Insight - Pretty simple, actually: God has turned my tears of sinfulness into the joy of forgiveness.

"I'm Sorry"

Last night wasn't too good. After church, Brandon got into trouble twice. He acted up twice, and got in trouble for it, both times. However, that's not what really bothered me. What really bothered me is that I asked Brandon, repeatedly, to say he was sorry to the other 'party'.

He wouldn't do it, both times.

He stood in the corner for a while, and when asked, said he would apologize. Brought him out of the corner, and did he?

No.

"I'm Sorry"

Just words, right? I think so. Can you apologize without saying those words? Sure. He did hug both of the people, both times, after much prompting.

So why wouldn't Brandon say those two words?

I don't know. Is it because he's a rebellious child? I don't think so. He's two. It's all part of the territory. So why wouldn't he say it, when repeatedly told to do so? I wish I knew why.

When we got home, I took Brandon to the back bedroom and we talked about why he was in trouble. Tears streaming down his face, I believe that he got the point - when Mom and/or Dad tell you to do something, you need to do it. Whether or not you like it, It's for your own good.

Brandon was fine less than 2 minutes later. Lesson learned, I hope. I'm still hurting from the experience over 12 hours later.

My Insight - How many times do I go against God? Just refuse to do something he asks me to? I can confess sin, and know He forgives it. But it's that very sin that nailed Him to the cross. Last night made me understand a little more about how sin grieves God. And it makes me want to do everything I can to stop.